Thursday, June 2, 2011

What If President Obama Really Was..."Dat Brother From Another Planet"?

by Barry Michael Cooper

(Part One of a series titled, The New "Porniggraphy": The Fetishizing of an American President)

What if President Barack Hussein Obama really was Dat Brother From Another Planet? Would we be happy if he was The Man Who Fell To Earth, who Hit The Ground Running, trying to Do The Right Thing? Making health care accessible to all, and passing a stimulus package as a fulcrum to prevent the floorboards of the nation's economy--weakened by eight years of Bush-Whacking--from flattening the country into a Great Depression?

If President Obama had an invoice of Intergalactic Transport from Area 51, instead of a birth certificate, would it negate the capture and extermination of the psychopath responsible for the mass murder of more than three-thousand Americans on 11 September 2001, Osama Bin Laden?

What if online provocateur and serial killer of political careers, Andrew Breitbart (he with the Pee Wee Herman voice, Ted Bundy eyes, and a lead suspect in numerous character assassinations) leaked a surreptitious video showing a smear of Hunter-green blood on President Obama's knee, after a scrape from a B-ball game during the Christmas vacation in Hawaii--and after the he was able to lower the rate of unemployment to 7.5 percent by November 2011, and home owners were able to reach the shores of real-estate solvency, after drowning in the 2008 Tsunami of underwater mortgages--would we call for his impeachment? Or his execution?

If President Obama's over-sized ears were the most technologically advanced listening devices unknown to man, would he be able to hear the thoughts of those all over the world? The prayers of good will for his safety and his success? The anathematical maledictions for his death and failure?

If President Barack Hussein Obama is a visitor from another star system, is he able to walk through walls, and if so, does he visit Charles and David Koch, Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, Dr. Cornell West, and the soldiers in the all-volunteer Hater Brigade--those responsible for this "New Porniggraphy", the fetishizing of an American President--as they snore in their sleep? Does he stand over them and laugh at their stupidity, or shed tears lamenting their weak character?

What if President Barack Hussein Obama really was Dat Brother From Another Planet? What if he was an extraterrestrial with a name we really couldn't pronounce, pigmented in a shade we've never seen, and an guided by an ideology we can't seem to grasp? Like all men really are created equal. Like America really is one nation under GOD? What if President Obama's bio--the son of a White Mother from Kansas and a Black Father from Kenya--was an anthropologically sexy and intriguing, but ultimately fictitious construct to expose U.S. as a nation of well-meaning, but socially, politically, and psychically-scarred misfits, injured by the self-inflicted wounds of hatred, suspicion, and fear?

What if finding out what made President Barack Hussein Obama tick, was an opportunity to give U.S. time to think about who we really are? Would we continue to be suspicious of this man? Would we learn to disagree with him when he is wrong, without hating him because he made a mistake? Or could we finally learn to appreciate the the positive results of his tenure in the Oval Office, even if we didn't love the alien? Probably not. After all, we're humans; the weirdest beings that ever existed.

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